Friday, September 6, 2013

A Confluence Of Happenstance

Waking up at 5 am for work every day has crushed out my will to communicate, but I know the teeming masses must be appeased. It is hard to have a sense of humor when you leave the house while it is still night time. The sense of humor is replaced by the sense of injustice, and the desire to communicate funny things is replaced with the desire to avenge yourself against those who wronged you. Like Batman.

Anyway it turns out there are lots of awesome things you can do in the world that aren't update a blog, like cut your finger nails or write haikus about your overweight house cat.

BORIS, you wide wad
You'll get fed when you get fed
So stop your whining

But the whole time you are haikuing, something is nibbling away inside. GUILT. Guilt that you are forsaking your duty, to alert the world to horrible poisons. So here I am.

The pickleback has been kicking around for a bunch of years (New York Times wrote it up in 2010), and is perhaps old news to many but two recent gift of some delicious pickles as well as some Jameson brought it back to the fore at Reasonable Industries. The Portland Mercury also mentioned it in a review this week, stating
As if to make a position statement, the bar offers a Pickleback: a shot of pickle brine that washes away a shot of bad whiskey—an efficient tool for those only interested in one aspect of their drinking. It lives at the end of the cocktail menu, a white flag of capitulation after all that trying.
He's got it a bit backwards - I enjoy the pickleback, but primarily because I want to drink a shot of pickle juice and this is a good format. Having a shot of pickle juice by itself seems highly depraved, like something a 45-year old bachelor named 'Uncle' Tony would do to 'replenish the salts'. Turning it into a novelty bar shot moves it from weird and depraved, to weird and debauched, which is always an easier position. gave the Pickleback at 98/100 "Hair On Your Chest Factor". But also has a story titled "Do Real Men Wear Louis Vuitton Watches?" which is the question of someone who might balk at the pickle back. For the rest of us who use a $15 cracked-screen burner phone to check the time, the pickle back is a soothing treat.  
Shown after Margarett's small, birdlike sampling

'Behind The (New York) Times'
2 oz Whiskey (Jameson or Old Crow)
2 oz Pickle Juice

Pour them, then drink them, then quickly do it again while your girlfriend is in the bathroom so she doesn't look askew at how much whiskey and pickle juice you really want to drink on a Wednesday. 

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