After several months of experimentation, I've devised a simple test which, with a few common household ingredients, can be used to temporarily resolve that nagging question "Am I Dead?"
1. Fill a shot glass 1/2 full of Aquavit
2. Stare at it for 45 to 180 seconds
3. Fill the shot glass to brim with Green Chartreuse
4. Drink shot glass in single swallow
Interpreting Your Results
Did you feel anything at all at any point in this process? If so, then you are likely not dead. If doubts remain, feel free to repeat the procedure as many times as needed.