Though it's a sunny Friday afternoon, I unfortunately have some grim news to share. Several days ago while attempting to blog (read as - drinking in the basement at 10 am), I spilled a glass of Campari on the mouse. The mouse initially appeared to have survived, the red Intellimouse lights flickering on and off sporadically, like a trauma-shattered war vet. Upon clicking though, a thick ichor spurt from underneath the Right Mouse Button (RMB) and pointing functions ceased, rendering further
writing impossible. Whatever enlightened discourse I was preparing was washed away utterly in a sticky, red tide; the same cruel God who deprived me of both a glass
of Campari and my 5-year old Intellimouse has deprived you
of ever reading those things.
Below, a pictorial rendering of the last moments of my Intellimouse.
Here's to You, Intellimouse. Maybe your scrollwheel is finally crumb-free in Heaven.
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Playing Minesweeper For All Eternity
1 oz cask strength Scotch
Sprinkle grated Nutmeg
1 Intellimouse, claimed before its time
Dig one small grave, sized for a trusted companion. Pour scotch, top with grated nutmeg, and set ablaze, and endure a moment of silence. Think about happier times, gleefully closing pop-up ads, endlessly scrolling excel documents. Know that Death hunts us all. | | |
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