In Which Palates are Atypically and Unconvetionally Pleased - Plum TUiCĂ & R. Jelínek Original Recipe Fernet

One of the excitements of making cocktails at home is that each unique drink that you undertake is a new opportunity to fail completely; to ruin otherwise delicious (and frequently expensive) ingredients, waste your time, and bespoil the mouths of friends and Margaretts. Wouldn't it be better to make a 'classic' drink, any of the dozens which have been developed by experts and refined by a century of evolution, sure to please the palate and simplify the pre-dinner hour? No. The stakes at risk in drink-making are quite low compared to most other aspects of modern life. That's not to suggest that somehow by failing at drink making you are less likely to fail somewhere else, but more that by getting accustomed to failure on the small-scale, by making failure part of life's routines, you can better inure yourself to the grand shocks that the great Thunderer surely has in store for you.

"Failure has made a good old man of me. It was horrible at first, but I'm glad I've failed. Praise be to God for the failure!"

I mention this both because I am chronically depressed and deeply pessimistic, but also as a counterpoint and reminder, because I have recently SUCCEEDED, succeeded beyond measure and precedence. My metric for concluding this is simple and iron-clad. In asking Margarett if she would like a drink, instead of requesting her usual glass of cold gin or Mezcal Sour she said "could you make that yummy cocktail again?" a heretofore unheard of experience. What could be contained in such a magic elixir? Romanian-style Tuica (Plum Brandy) and knock-off Fernet from the Czech Republic. Wham! I AM GREAT AND SMART.

Plum Brandy has become my spirit-of-choice in these last few months. Now that we have hit Peak Whiskey, I have been exploring other options in the hopes of finding a more democratic spirit. Plum brandy (or tuica, slivovitz, palinka, prune, or whatever balkanization you wish to employ) has an honest taste. The flavor says 'I am about to work' or later 'I have worked.' Perhaps that is why plum brandy fails to resonate with the puerile American tongue. The complaint that 'it's too strong' is possibly valid if you belong to a certain demographic. Even so, when someone rejects my plum brandy as being too robust a water, it is difficult not to advise them to stick with thin beef broth until their invalidity passes.

As you can see from that, while the flavor of fruit brandies move me profoundly, there are other perks to championing them.  Plum brandy, alongside grappa, provides the best opportunity to sneer at the ignorance and weakness of others. When grappa comes up in conversation, they (the philistine) will often make a face and say something with the goal of conveying "ugh, I've been to Italy, what wretched stuff." Quickly, give them a look composed of equal measures scorn and pity, as though they said something like "why should I see the Sistine Chapel, I have a ceiling at home." Your glare should suggest that they are what is holding back the progress of art and humanity, which angers you, yet you can't help but have sympathy for someone to whom so many of nature's wonders are closed to.

This cocktail features Milibit's (or possibly Lil Bit) distillery's Plum TUiCĂ, which is made in Woodburn, Oregon. It is difficult to tease out much information about them, as their website features a Geocities-era Men At Work jpeg. FACTS: It is made out of some kind of plums, and is 40% alcohol. It is also quite tasty, with a different flavor than Clear Creek / Slivovitz style plum brandies, more sour and savory, with a strong smell of fermenting plum.

R. Jelínek Original Recipe Fernet (my second trip to Wikipedia to find letters with diacritical marks...) is a liqueur from the Czech Republic which bears little connection to the Italy or other assorted Fernets I've tasted. Sweeter, far less bitter, with more of the warm fall baking spice aspects (prune, clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, caramel) and less mint. R. Jelínek is known for their plum spirits, but for some reason Oregon only receives the Fernet.

I Need To See A Map

1.5 oz Plum Brandy (Mili bit Tuica)
.5 oz R. Jelinek Original Recipe Fernet
.75 oz 50/50 Lemon & Lime juice
.5 oz simple syrup
Egg White (fresh)

This is how I make a whiskey sour, but with no whiskey, and extra plum brandy and Czech liqueur. Follow general whiskey sour making procedures. This is very delicious, so after you finish this quickly prepare a bad-tasting drink to return balance to your life. I made one featuring grappa and a decoction of dandelion root and catnip that I'd prepared as a herbal remedy for my cat's dandruff problem. 

MxMo LXXXIX - In Which The Treasures And Abominations of Italy Are Examined

Mixology Monday happened, but also 1500 lb of very ripe plums arrived at the distillery, so unpaid (and typically under-appreciated) content Milling was put on hold temporarily. The plums are happily bubbling away now, and boy could I go for a drink.

The theme this month was selected by Chris at A Bar Above. His blog is everything mine isn't, namely informative, friendly, and useful. To each their own. The internet is a big place, and I firmly believe there is still room for both people who want to spread knowledge that will empower people to make better drinks AND for bitter cranks with ugly, poorly-formatted sites that are useful to no one. The theme selected was "unknown"

Basically the idea is to try something new, an ingredient or technique that you’ve never had experience with before and create a cocktail around it… Use a spirit that you’ve never used before. It could be a base spirit, modifier or that Belgian Ale that rings in at 15% alcohol. Use an ingredient that has always captured your imagination in the supermarket. Maybe that weird looking fruit that you always walk by at Whole Foods, or that unusual looking vegetable that you can’t even pronounce. [or] Use a new technique that you’ve never tried, but have always wanted to. Have you been dying to make your own vermouth, amaro, or martini glass made completely out of flavored sugar.

The 'unknown' is my bread and butter around here, and I am enmeshed with it deeply enough that it sometimes becomes difficult to separate the unknown from the commonplace. In the same way if someone asked me to write about a jazz flutist, I would be left sputtering for something to say, not because know nothing but because I know too much. So basically after going uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh for a while, I decided to try a few 'italian' cocktails, ordinarily something I'd give a wide berth.

There are a few italian cocktails that have achieved fame; the recently inescapable Negroni, the mostly similar Americano, the tasty but I suspect Austrian Aperol Spritz and the barely a cocktail Bellini. All delicious things, but not a very diverse list. Should you choose to venture beyond those the options quickly narrow and grim results loom. A Manhattan ordered at an otherwise delightful piazza-side 'bar' stands vivid in my mind as one of the worst drinks I've ever paid for, and the general sense seemed to be that further exploration would not be rewarded.

Why? My time in Italy has not been extensive, but you don't need to be there very long to grasp how different their drinking culture is from Americas. Primarily, there are no 'bars' in the sense of a place you go to get really fucked up. Drinks always (and just about only) accompany food, a quick glass of wine arrives with a snack plate, or the shot of fernet you desperately require to survive the digestion of la cucina tipica will come with some cookies. The cocktails which get served are mostly low alcohol, fizzing, and served only in a slim pre-dinner window. It's outside their conception that an otherwise healthful person might want to drink 5 oz of rum on an empty stomach. So it seems other cocktails are approached from that viewpoint of befuddlement about how or why someone would drink what they are preparing.

With that in mind, lets try a few Italian drinks.

The Moretta is a hot coffee-based drink which is claimed by the town of Fano in Marche, a port town of some 64,000 souls. The wikipedia entry for this drink very tellingly claims "In the past, the poor economised, so leftovers were gathered together as a liquor. Over time, these ingredients became the basis for moretta." I've used Mistra, a type of anisette typical to the Marche/Lazio region, because this is the only recipe in the history of the world that specifically called for it. Mistra is excellent in coffee, as it contains very little sugar compared to many anise spirits.

Moretta
1/2 oz Mistra or other Anisetta
1/2 oz Rum
1/2 Brandy (Grappa Piave is great in coffee)
4-5 oz espresso or Moka Pot
spoonful of sugar
Lemon peel
Rinse glass with hot water to warm, then blend together spirits (warmed in another vessel) with sugar and lemon peel. Add coffee. Pretend you are a rugged peasant fisherman, warming up after a tough day hauling in your meager bounty, rather than someone sitting in a warm house and blogging in their boxers.

You know what, I quite enjoyed that. Breakfast has been dispatched but the cutting board is still dirty so lets have Second Breakfast. This next recipe is courtesy of Renato G. Dettori's 1953 book "Italian Wines and Liqueurs". While his cocktail recipes are somewhat suspicious, in his section on "Nutritional Properties" he offers my personal credo that "alcoholic drinks are a valuable supplement to food and undeniably have a positive effect on health".

Italian Bloody Mary

1/2 Absinthe
1 Tomato Juice
1 teaspoon of grenadine syrup
Pinch of Salt

Renato's recipe didn't include directions, but I mixed everything together to dissolve the grenadine and then rolled with ice between two shakers. I also made this very small because absinthe is 64% abv, and because I thought it would be fucking horrible and I was right.

If you ordered a Bloody Mary in America and it came out like this, no bartender could complain if you socked them in the mouth. I was going to make an additional drink (an intriguing combination of gin, red wine, orange juice, and fernet) but this has crushed out my will to go on. So, as they say in Italy Non mi rompere i coglioni!

In Which Oatmeal Nourishes Both Body And Soul

I will admit to a relatively diminished interest in whiskey these days. While much of note is undoubtedly happening in the wide world of whiskey, (Mr. Cowdery's tireless efforts to shame liars, the fall releases of unobtainables and unaffordables, the excitement about whether Chip Tate will be the first craft distiller to 'put two into the chest' of Mammon...) I am not sure that I give many or any shits at all about it. From the ever deepening trench of my poverty, my blackened groping hand finds purchase on the necks of few whiskey bottles these days. The explosion of interest and variety in whiskey is certainly a good thing, but the density of options has surpassed what I feel is necessary to enable an enjoyable life, and instead leads whiskey enthusiasts who want to keep up into a hierarchically-driven box 'ticking' mode devoid of much pleasure. "Not philosophers but fret sawyers and stamp collectors compose the backbone of society" 

As a distiller I am still very excited about making whiskey, but as a drinker it's harder to get a thirst up.

So I am moving on.

Wait, first a drink.

The production of this drink is somewhat involved, which is a twist as the recipe is adapted from Kingsley Amis' book of drinking advice "Everyday Drinking" and he sometimes felt a lemon twist to adorn a glass of gin was too much of a fussy struggle. As is likely apparent from this blog, I owe Mr. Amis many debts. As someone who has made relatively little headway into deciphering the world of wine, Amis gave me the greatest piece of advice on wine buying, easily trumping  anything Eric Asimov or Robert Parker ever supplied, to "Keep at hand a good supply of beer, stout, and cider, not to speak of stronger waters, to console you when the whole business gets too much for you".

An Atholl Brose, the alcohol version of oatmeal brose (uncooked porridge, truly the product of a culinary impoverished society), according to Wikipedia and Kingsley Amis has significantly more viscosity, alcohol, and sweetness than I desire. Below is my preferred technique

I Pity The Scottish Stomach

8 oz Hot Water
1.5 handful rolled oats
3/4 oz Smoky / Islay Scotch
Spoonful of Wildflower Honey

1. Heat up 8 oz water to tea making temperature, and pour over an oversized handful of oats. Stir to mix and allow to sit.
2. Sit outside in the garden in the chilly drizzling rain for 30 minutes while musing on how few possibilities for fulfillment the coming day will offer.
3. Strain the liquid off the oats (which should be cloudy and slightly thickened) and reheat in the microwave.
4. In a separate glass, measure out the scotch.
5. Stir a spoonful of honey into the hot oat water, and then pour into the scotch glass
6. With your steaming mug, return to the drizzly garden, and in general fell much better about the prospects of having to exist for at least one more day.

Do Words Matter? An unnecessarily drawn out review of Miyazaki Kinmiya Soju

Let's talk about something complicated. Something with a lot of nuance, that requires the reader to make an effort to understand. Something that no one except me cares about in the slightest. The topic - 

"Why I am Excited To Purchase Lousy Alcohol At The Weird Asian Grocery Store"

In Oregon there is a firm bifurcation between distilled spirits and other alcohol. Non-distilled alcohol is available in grocery stores, beer shops, convenience stores, and a myriad of other places who've obtained the proper license. Distilled spirits (regardless of their alcoholic strength) are available only through the state-run liquor stores. This can lead to some head scratching situations, for instance where Cardamaro (a 17% abv wine-based amaro) can be had with a volume discount at Fred Meyers but Aperol (an 11% spirit-based apertif) is only available in liquor stores. Every state has illogical blue-laws, but at least Oregon's is a knowable quantity if you are somewhat versed in how things are made. Fermented and/or fortified = grocery. Distilled = Liquor Store.

Fine. Rules Are Rules. The Oregon Liquor Control Commission (OLCC) does me many solids in my professional career, so I won't carp too much. However, I still get a perverse joy when something slips through the cracks, and I find a distilled spirit in the grocery store. Such is the case with Miyazaki Co. LTD's Kinmiya "Soju".  There it was, camouflaged among the Mirin and the incomprehensibly Chinese 'Special Pickle Wine'. When trolling for weird booze at the grocery store, keep an eagle eye for "1.5% Salt Added". To avoid excise tax for beverage alcohol, producers render their cooking products 'non-potable' with salt. This is how our country poisons the poor degenerate souls who have the audacity to try enjoying shaoxing wine. Someday in the future, we, the downtrodden and despised drinkers of cooking sherry will RISE UP, and say NO MORE. NO MORE WILL WE SUFFER YOU TO POISON US WITH SALT MERELY FOR TRYING TO DRINK COOKING SHERRY. But for now, the salt remains.

Miyazaki Co. LTD Kinmiya Soju
aka VODKA FOR BABIES THAT CAN ONLY SHOP AT WEIRD ASIAN STORES

Founder Miyazaki Shozaburo

Anyways, once you've located something interesting looking without any salt it's time for focused googling. Miyazaki Hoten was founded in 1846 as a producer of Sake, Mirin, and Shochu. In 2005 they won "The Best Prize at the '100 Selected IT Business Models.'" In between those events, invariably much occurred that might be of interest but I will allow to peruse the Company Newsletter at your leisure. Mostly it seems to be poems written by Dali about Japanese Highschool baseball.

The Kinmiya is their flagship shochu brand, an affordable high-volume spirit with a minimal taste. By their description

Nicknamed "Kinmiya shochu", turtle Miya shochu has gained popularity in the Kanto area from ancient times. Mellow taste to use the subsoil water of pure Suzuka River sprung from Suzukasanmyaku, and clean it features. Design also incorporates the design of the gold seal turtle Miya shochu tradition, it is proposed the products that can be enjoyable temporary gatherings.

So keep that in mind for your next 'temporary gathering'.

But wait, what's all this shit about Shochu when the bottle is clearly labelled "Soju"? While it says "Soju" (a Korean spirit typically produced from rice or sweet potatoes), the Kinmiya is in fact actually Shochu (a Japanese spirit which can be distilled from a variety of raw materials). Why the mislabeling? Ahem, go ahead wikipedia

The liquor licensing laws in the states of California and New York specifically exempt the sale of soju from regulation relating to the sale of other distilled spirits, allowing businesses with a beer/wine license to sell it without requiring the more expensive license required for other distilled spirits.The only stipulation is that the soju must be clearly labeled as such and contain less than 25% alcohol.

This had the knock-on effect of traditional japanese shochu producers diluting their products and labeling them as "Soju" to sneak into this lucrative loophole. This loophole doesn't apply in Oregon, but there are still many Shochus in the liquor store marked as Soju because of the size of the California and New York markets. This is an Okinawan Awamori, something with a proud history, bottled at a pathetic 20% and disgraced with the label "Soju". 

"Blah Blah Blah" you might say. "Soju and Shochu are the same thing, who caaaaares." You are Wrong, and I would strike you if I had enough internet bandwidth and appropriate haptic techonology to do so. I think this misconception occurs because some people prefer to deal in generalities. "Both Soju and Shochu are asian and they are spelled almost the same, so they ARE the same. Case Closed. I don't have time to care about this, I have pressing TV shows to watch and my countdown timer for the return of Pumpkin Spice Lattes needs to wound." They shellac these generalities into a thick shell which protects their flabby brains from the Heavy Facts and Sharply Specific Truths which the world is truly composed of. In fact, Shochu and Soju are made by different people, in a different way, out of different materials, for different reasons. In a similar way to how Ten-High Blended Whiskey is different than an Islay Single Malt, even if the philistine calls them both whiskey.

That was a wonderful tirade. Very invigorating. And it was for the most part true. Unfortunately, complexity looms. While most Soju (like Jinro, the most popular spirit in the world) is highly-distilled flavorless ethanol, made industrially and artificially flavored with sweeteners and thickeners, there are traditionally made Sojus  which use mixed culture fermentation and small pot-still distillation to produce something similar to a traditional honkaku Kome (rice) shochu. And conversely there exists Japanese Shochu called korui or new style shochu, which is highly-distilled, nearly flavorless ethanol, made industrially for mass consumption. Such is the case with the Kinmiya "Soju", a VERY lightly flavored spirit distilled from sugar cane.  
 
How about a review? Been a while....

Nose - Slight sharpness, with the medicinal / tool-cleaner aroma common to mid-grade vodka. With some air this dissipates and yields a vaguely sweet, mellow sugar cookie aroma but you really have to jam your nose in there. A splash of water nullifies the aroma, not surprising given the low abv (20%).

Taste - Tastes fine. Mild, smooth, and clean with only the tiniest hint of flavor. There is some brown sugar to the midpalate, and a bit of heat to the finish but otherwise slips down pretty unnoticed. While honkaku shochu can be earthy and savory, or bright and fragrant, this is neither and resembles nothing so much as an acceptably bland vodka which has been heavily watered.   

Value - At $15/750ml for a 20% spirit, it's certainly a stretch to say this is a deal. However, when compared to other Japanese shochus available in Oregon it is a more appealing proposition. Also, the thrill of buying alcohol at the grocery store in defiance of Oregon God and OLCC is difficult to put a price on. Also, I had fun reading their newsletter in the course of writing this, so that gives them a bump. I will say a 6 for value, but your scale may read differently.

Thus concludes the most comprehensive english language examination of Miyazaki Hoten's Kinmiya shochu. I hope this helps the other 3 people in the world who might be desperately googling.